Top (Bottom?) Five Turkey Hikes of 2018

Posted By on December 18, 2018

Top (Bottom?) Five Turkey Hikes of 2018
Turkey, you say?

Turkey, you say? I resemble that remark!

Yes, thanks to a reader suggestion, I am instituting a new feature, a rundown of my LEAST favorite hikes of 2018.

#5—Grills, Interrupted

Inadequate Puncheon

Inadequate Puncheon

I said it before and I’ll say it again… when FEMA warns you that the river you’re about to hike beside is officially above flood stage, it might be time to pick another hike.

#4—Moosup Valley SP

Uh... What?

Uh… What?

When I say this part of the Trestle Trail in Eastern Connecticut is ”undeveloped,” I am again exercising my boundless talent for understatement. And yes, that is a photograph of a bare human footprint. On an undeveloped trail. In the middle of the woods. (Do you hear banjos? I swear I hear banjos…)

#3—Chatfield Trail, Part the First

One of Many Boulder-Strewn Ridge Tops

One of Many Boulder-Strewn Ridge Tops

It didn’t seem too daunting, from looking at the map. A mere 4.6 miles? Pfft. I can do it as an out-and-back. Piece of cake. What I failed to realize is that this trail climbs one rocky, steep, boulder-strewn ridge after another rocky, steep, boulder-strewn ridge, after another after another after another! Or it does for the first mile. Which is how far I managed to get before finding a convenient FLAT woods road that got me the heck back out of there.

#2—Phony Baloney Pelloni & The Great Diamond Hill Swamp Trail Hoax

So Far So Good!

So Far So Good!

I was on a quick scouting mission for another long-ish trail, the 10-mile Tomaquag Trail in Hopkinton, RI. The map seemed very straightforward. All I had to do was check out two wee sections…

#1—Trail of Lakes, Sort of

Rattlesnake

Rattlesnake

That, my friends and readers, is a photo of a 6-foot-long Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake. (Relax. This is another Florida hike. We’re not in South County anymore!) I heard the rattle BEHIND ME, meaning I WALKED RIGHT OVER THE SNAKE AND NEVER SAW IT. Yup. First hike where I encountered something that could have actually killed me, because I was 6 miles into a 10-mile hike with no cellphone service.

And there you have it. My least favorite hikes of 2018. [Crappy trails? Dang. That would have been a MUCH better title for this post…]

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